This is by far the hardest post I've ever written. This past Tuesday morning I heard news that I wasn't expecting to hear. Heartbreaking news.
I wasn't pregnant. I believed I was. I had all the symptoms; I was even feeling movement. One thing I never had was a positive pregnancy test.
Tuesday morning I drove to a medical center in a nearby town for an ultrasound. As I laid there on the bed and the tech was moving the wand around, peace came over me and I knew that I wasn't pregnant. The tech confirmed it a few minutes later.
Before I left, my midwife spoke with me as we tried to figure out what was wrong with me. She recommended that I see a OBGYN to figure out why I'm irregular. She also believes that I have a hormone imbalance. For now, I will try to resolve the issue on my own.
Oddly enough, the "bloating" I had in my abdomen is going down. The "morning sickness" has gone away. The cravings for carrot cake and chocolate has gone away.
Leaving me with the motivation to whip my body into shape so that I can share good news before the end of summer. Leaving me to love up on my son and cherish him even more.
Thankfully in the days since then, I have been very busy preparing for our multi-family yardsale at my in-laws store. Several of my nieces helped me bake cookies and banana bread for our stand. My one niece is helping me run the stand as well. She is a godsend to me.
I am keeping myself busy. I am thankful for my son. I am thankful that God has a plan for my life. Whether or not we have more children is in His will.
Thy will be done.
