What's The Deal With Mom Shaming?

Lately the one thing that irritates me the most is mom shaming. Why do moms feel the need to shame other moms? Don't they realize that we are all just trying to do the best we can with the canvas we've been given? We do not have the same canvas neither do we have the same paints.
What works for me with my children will not work for you with your children. Likewise what works for you, will not work for me. So why feel the need to shame me because I "mom" different than you do?
When it comes to mom shaming, the two main areas I've witnessed are formula vs. breastfeeding and vaccinating vs. unvaccinating. I will not cover the latter in this post because it is known to cause too much controversy and my husband and I choose not to discuss with others what our decision is regarding this matter.

Formula fed vs. Breastfed - what's the big deal? Are mom's just formula feeding their babies because they're lazy or too busy to breast feed? Are they taking the easy way out? Or do they choose to formula feed their babies after struggling to breastfeed their babies after bouts of tears and frustration? We don't know what these moms have gone through so why do we shame them?
Personally, I was excitedly anticipating breastfeeding my son when I was pregnant with him four years ago. I didn't have formula or bottles stocked up to feed my baby. I was planning to feed him what was on tap! Then an exhausting labor turned into an emergency C-section. After delivery, our precious son was whisked away to the NICU due to pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and I was not able to hold him and bond with him until he was 30 hours old. (Those 30 hours were the longest hours of my life.) By the time I held him, Sonny was introduced to the bottle in order to get his weight up so that he could be discharged with me.
I spent hours trying to pump milk for my son. Through tears of frustration and feeling inept, I hooked electric pumps to my breast. When I was finally able to hold my son, I was excited about finally being able to breast feed him. Instead he fussed because my nipples were not cooperating with him. Instead they shriveled up at his every suck. Every hold I tried, the numerous nipple shields I tried, every trick I tried...it wasn't meant to be.

Almost three years later I planned to try breastfeeding again. This time around I had a healthy, hungry girl who knew what she wanted and she wanted it now. She arrived almost two weeks late through an unplanned C-section. Again I tried breastfeeding. I placed her to my breast for feeding after feeding. After a half hour of nothing, Ruth would begin screaming out of frustration. Then I would become frustrated and she would receive her bottle. It got to the point where my nipples were extremely sore from her gnawing on them.
For several months I struggled with feelings of ineptitude. I was a lousy mom because I wasn't able to breastfeed her. Time and time again my husband reassured me. My close friends and family reassured me. But still the struggle lingered.
Now as my husband and I are discussing adding a third little one to our family (God willing) my husband really doesn't want me to try breastfeeding again. We will be looking at yet another C-section, a scheduled one this time, and my husband just wants to save me from yet another emotional roller coaster ride.
WE SHALL SEE...…..
One thing is for sure, I will still be "momming" the best way that I know how. Bottom line: fed is best.
Have any mom shaming stories? Feel free to share by commenting below.

Introducing Ruth Julianna Nolt

After struggling to conceive for 18 months it was a surprise to find out that we were finally expecting our second child last May. I had a healthy, very long pregnancy but it was so exciting to experience growing another human again.
After spending several months living in PA again, we moved back to Michigan. We had rented our house out so we rented a little house in town until our renters could move out.
I was excitedly planning on having a VBAC home birth with my dear friend as my midwife. Everything was looking good except for dealing with GBS again.
My due date came and went without our new bundle of joy. I had so much pressure on me to have my baby before my 100 year old grandma passed away. But labor just wasn't progressing. Contractions would start and stop week after week.
Finally at 13 days overdue I went to the hospital for an ultrasound and a stress test. Everything looked good during the stress test and my ob-gyn was OK with me waiting a few more days...until the ultrasound proved otherwise.
Baby Ruth was at least 9 lbs and my amniotic fluid was low so no one would induce labor for me. My husband and I decided to just go ahead and have a second C-section so I was quickly prepped for surgery.
The entire time my doctor was working on me she was complaining about my previous incision. It was up too high on my belly which is why I had so much drainage and issues with healing. She made another incision site lower on my belly so I now have two C-section scars.
At 4:32 pm on February 18th Ruth Julianna was lifted screaming from my womb. After experiencing a blue birth with her brother, the sound of her screaming was music to my ears.
I was so happy to see a healthy, big baby. And holding her after I was settled in my room was pure heaven. No waiting 30 hours this time around.

Ruth Julianna Nolt 

9 lbs

21 1/4 inches long

Big brother loves Baby Rush! He was so excited to hold her. 

And kiss her!

Welcome to our family, sweet Baby Ruth! Mommy, daddy, and big brother love you very much. You bring so much joy to our life.

Sadly Baby Ruth never got to meet my grandma. Two days before she was born my grandma passed away. It was difficult for me to miss her funeral but no way was I traveling four days after a C-section. 

Three generations of Ruth...my grandma would have been the fourth. 

Five generations of Ruth - my mom, daughter and I posing next to the grave of the very first Ruth. 

Ruth Viola, Alma Ruth, Ruth Naomi, Martha Ruth, and Ruth Julianna. 

I wish that my grandma and my daughter could have met. My grandma lived a long life and she deserved to go Home and be with Pap again.

I am so thankful for my godly heritage. I have so much to live up to and I hope to pass it on to my own children. I am so blessed.